"Mom, I am beginning to doubt that Santa is real"

These are the words many parents dread hearing, and today, I heard them uttered from my 6 year old (#2). Actually, the quote was, "Mom, I am having a serious issue. I am having real doubts about Santa. I think the parents bring the gifts and there is no Santa".  It was at this precise moment my catholic husband called, and I diverted the topic.

My ambivalence towards Santa is something I feel I must explore and share.  Growing up Jewish in America, you can be a bit envious of your friends who celebrate Christmas. (Check out the South park song where Kyle sings, "It sucks to be a Jew on Christmas"...... Santa, lights, carols, a tree, all the traditions seemed so fun. Don't get me wrong, Hanukkah was always fun, but never had the sparkly commercial allure of Christmas.  Thus, my sister and I took it upon ourselves to decorate our 80's contemporary home with cheesy judaica, including tinsel on a ficus, which we proudly called our Hanukkah tree.

The jolly man in the red suit, he was a most alluring figure in November and December. There is a place called "Santa Land" in North Carolina, where we owned a second home.  That was a fun destination but I do not understand why my parents ever agreed to take us there, afterall, we did NOT believe in Santa.  There was a part of me that loved all the Christmas Specials, especially the ones about Santa.  Santa seemed cool to me growing up, even though I didn't "believe".

So fast forward to the day I decided to marry a catholic.  Since I am fairly a-religious, there were not a lot of issues surrounding our distinctive religious backgrounds when we decided to marry.  I knew we would celebrate holidays from both religions, including Christmas. This meant that the day I bore children, I would start the lie of Santa. I have been told by many other ways to look at this tradition as a rite of passage, a telling of Saint Nicholas, but really, I think it's a big fat lie.

And this is really where I start to defend my tribe.  At holiday times, I think the Jews got it spot on with the traditions, which are much more respectful to the parents, a jewish tradition, right?  You see, for the past 8 years, I do not earn the credit or thanks from my kids for gifts there arrive via magical Santa. Also, I have to hide these gifts somewhere in my house so the kids don't find them---this is no easy task.  Yes, Hannukah gifts can be hidden, but better, they can be wrapped and shown in the house where your kids can salivate over them for days. AND, then I field lots of questions, like, why can't Santa bring me Mind Bender? Or, Why did Santa make Zhu Zhu pets with poison in them? or Why doesn't Santa bring gifts to less fortunate kids?  and the favorite, Is Santa Real? Happily I can say that I have never actually lied when answering these questions, I just don't give absolute answers.  And, on a side note, gifts have more impact when they are opened one a day, than 10 in one day, or one hour........

But back to Santa:  I have never told my kids Santa is real, yet I do continue the "magic of Christmas" with half eaten cookies, reindeer noises, and notes from beloved jolly man.  And I do this out of respect for my husband's traditions, but now I am faced with a quandry. Do I tell #2 the truth?? Do I perpetuate this lie?  I have surveryed my gentile friends (which comprises 99% of my friend base), and I am told to go with it, that one day all kids realize their parents aren't perfect, and that day being the one where they realized their parents lied to them for years and Santa isn't real (nor the Easter Bunny, tooth Fairy, or Leprechauns).

But at 6, I am not sure I am ready to destroy his Santa world.....It is my suspicion that a child got word that Santa is a farce, and shared this on the school bus.  It is also my suspicsion that #1, who is 8, has known this for years, but fears that if he speaks up, he will no longer receive gifts? So where does this leave me???  I am not comfortable lying, it's not my bag baby, so I think I am going to destroy #2s world tomorrow and let the chips fall where they may......Ho Ho Ho, perhaps I can find a way to make it jolly........