MY DENTIST WAS A SADIST

As an adult, I can make decisions about my own "pain management". On this particular day, I chose to inhale nitrous oxide while sitting in my dentist's chair as she drilled away an old amalgam filling.  In fact, anytime I am subjected to the dentist (not the hygienist for cleaning),  my pain management of choice is nitrous oxide with a dash of traditional novocaine.  Because I have the worlds UNHEALTHIEST teeth (we will get to that), I have had the displeasure of seeing many dentists and endodontists over my life time.
Much to my surprise, anytime I am with a new doctor, and request nitrous oxide, they look at me like I have two heads.  Once, an endodontist told me he NEVER administers nitrous, so I told him he would NEVER root canal my tooth. Within minutes, a canister of nitrous magically appeared and I was off to la-la land as he dug away at my roots.  Now, how is it he NEVER administers nitrous, yet has it conveniently on hand? Hmmmm, not sure what that guy does in his spare time, but I can only say he had to re-treat my canal TWICE and it stills seems problematic after five years.

For the last 20 years, I have had a dentist who I will call  Dr. X.  I loved going to Dr X!!  Dr X ALWAYS provided a walkman with a cassette tape and I ALWAYS chose The Beatles Greatest Hits: 1967 - 1970 (aka: The Blue Album). In case The Beatles weren't enough, he had a trippy mobile (think Miro) hanging from his ceiling which I gazed at happily as I drifted off into nitrous land.  One time, Dr. X performed a root canal and I actually fell asleep during the procedure because I was so relaxed!!!

 Last year, sadly, Dr. X stealthily retired and he passed me on to the woman who took over his practice. Alas, his son never fulfilled his dream of taking over the practice, instead choosing the career of tennis-pro in Florida.  When I met the new Dentist, I was wary.....we had never met and she was about go into my mouth with a drill. Much to my surprise, she passed the Nitrous test. When I told her that I required nitrous before any procedures she didn't even lift an eye brow.  We have a great relationship. My teeth suck (lots of work for her) and I get all the nitrous my body can handle in the time allotted on the chair.

Today, I provided my own tunes (Ben Folds, Songs for Silverman) and I happily reclined in her chair, floated around, as she drilled the crap out of my molar.  During the procedure I had a sudden thought about my love for the nitrous/novocaine combo.  'Thought' is too mild, let's call it a haunting flashback, to 1984. ----But a quick background:  as a newborn, I contracted Salmonella poisoning, and posted a fever for days over 106 degrees F.  This high fever, having lasted over 4 days, affected the development of my adult teeth, namely my enamel. Thus, I am prone to the worst sort of tooth decay out there.

Until 1984, I reveled in perfect teeth. I was given sealants and never saw a cavity in my life. It was that year that my braces came off, and I learned the damage done by those metal racks! During my first post-braces appointment, the dentist (call him Dr. S&M) discovered 11 cavities in ONE VISIT. This may sound strange but prior to this time, I was unable to have x-rays because of the metal mouth. Additionally, I was 14 years old, experiencing hormonal changes, and boom, the perfect dental storm occurred. Not to totally destroy me,  Dr. S&M spanned the fillings over several visits.

My mom requested that I have novocaine administered on my first filling, but Dr. S&M declined. I specifically recall Dr. S&M telling my mom that the cavity wasn't deep and that novocaine was not necessary. How Dr. S&M was allowed to proceed, I will never know, but he did.  That FUCKER drilled my top right front tooth, and I nearly popped out of my body in excruciating and unfamiliar pain.  I have since forgiven my mom for allowing this to happen.  Dr. S&M WAS NOT FORGIVEN and we never returned to his practice.

After this experience, I met Dr. X, and it was a marriage made in heaven. He introduced me to nitrous AND novocaine, and I have never looked back.  I wonder how many of you readers have ever endured a sadistic and evil dentist?